Cringe Bait (Fan Fic)

So I write some pretty (mostly intentionally) cringe fan fic and I’m sick of holding it in my email. I want to inflict it on the world. To that end, I’m starting to post it here. Please “enjoy” it if your dare. Judge me as hard as you like. Once you’ve read it, you can’t unread it!

Number: 1
Title: Pitfalls
Property: Sanders Sides/ Animal Crossing New Horizon
Style: Fluff

Do-Doot-Do-Do Do-Do-Dooo-Do-Do

The Fanciful Side made a happy squeal as the loading music player. It had been a long day of filming and now it was time to relax and play some video games! Slaying dragon witches was invigorating, but sometimes a side just needed some down time. A nice, relaxing game of Animal Crossing.

He was tapping A impatiently, trying to get through the morning announcements, when he heard an unwelcome voice, “Have you ever considered killing Isabella?” “Go Away,” Roman groaned. A maniacal giggle burst out from behind him, “Nuh-uh, Thomas says you have to share, that we ALL get to play with the Switch.”
“No, no, no!” Roman pouted, “I won’t let you ruin my island. I have 400 play hours on it.” Remus smiled,”Well if you won’t take my word for it….. OH LOGICCCCCCC” he trilled landing at an obnoxiously high pitch. A few seconds later Logan arrived, looking annoyed indeed, “Can I help you Remus?”  The Duke nodded vigorously, “I just have a few questions?” Logic looked wary, “Go ahead.” Roman watched as they vollied back and forth.
R: “Animal Crossing is a video game, correct?”
L: “Correct”
R: “One that Thomas said that all of his sides could all play?”
L: “Correct”R: “And this is Thomas’ Nintendo Switch?”
L: “Correct”R: “Therefor I, as one of Thomas’ sides, can play it?”
L: “Correct”R: “So Hold The Roman of there should hand over the controller and let me play, if hes playing by the rules that is?”
L: “Incorrect”R: (Pouting) “But why not?”
L: “Thomas said you could all play, not that you could all play at the same time. You will simply have to wait.”R: “But I’ve been waiting forever already………”
L: “FALSEHOOD”R: “You don’t have to be so Touchy….. unless that’s what you’re into Logic. In which case…..”
L: “I believe I have adjudicated the matter. Remus let him play without further interruptions.”R: “Of course Logan, I’ll just come back later.”
Remus sunk out and as Logan turned to leave Roman simply said, “You know that’s not over right?” Logan simply shrugged, “That may be so, but I don’t play the game.”

Later that night, Remus snuck towards the console, careful not to wake the other sides, “craft, craft, dig, dig. Time to have some fun.”
The next day Roman went to do his Dailies. He stepped out of his homes and saw it. Square after square of buried item spots. everything that could be uprooted was. Flowers and trees gone, items removed, and nothing but those jagged shapes.  Sighing, he took a shovel out and began to dig the first one out. And then… fell right in.

“Ahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa,” the cackling was coming from the hall, “ha, ha, ha, you just fell right in. And I bet you’ll do it lots more.” Roman saw red, “Why you Vile Villain, you shall pay for your crimes.” As Roman began to rise, Remus ran down the hall, “You have to catch me first Princy boy.”  Logan looked over at Patton, the two had been at the kitchen table eating pancakes the whole time,” I wonder when he will realize we have the island backed up each week.” Patton smiled at Logic,” Let them have some fun for a while first.”